But this sounds like a good thesis. I'm not very good at them either but maybe you could add a little. I don't specifically know what your paper is on but something like "... children into the jungle of the public school system or home school them ?to be safe?." Or you could totally ignore what I said because it is a great thesis!
Haha, I also like how you included that side note. :)
But that thesis typically states the exact point of your paper(for the most part), but possibly add a bit more detail to enhance the statement, making it a strong thesis. Strong thesis is good for setting up a perfect paper done by Hanna Mae!
your thesis is very straight forward and states the point of your paper which is good. i would maybe somehow add a little more details to strengthen your thesis statement.
It's very straightforward, but I agree with the other comments. However, don't add too much and make it wordy. Adding just a simple "for various reasons..." would help you out a lot. This way, you could explain those reasons in the rest of your paper.
Hahaha way to include the "I'm bad at these"
ReplyDeleteAlso, it is spelled their. :)
But this sounds like a good thesis. I'm not very good at them either but maybe you could add a little. I don't specifically know what your paper is on but something like "... children into the jungle of the public school system or home school them ?to be safe?." Or you could totally ignore what I said because it is a great thesis!
Haha, I also like how you included that side note. :)
ReplyDeleteBut that thesis typically states the exact point of your paper(for the most part), but possibly add a bit more detail to enhance the statement, making it a strong thesis. Strong thesis is good for setting up a perfect paper done by Hanna Mae!
your thesis is very straight forward and states the point of your paper which is good. i would maybe somehow add a little more details to strengthen your thesis statement.
ReplyDeleteIt's very straightforward, but I agree with the other comments. However, don't add too much and make it wordy. Adding just a simple "for various reasons..." would help you out a lot. This way, you could explain those reasons in the rest of your paper.
ReplyDelete